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Intersections of Racism and Power: Healthcare Redefined | December 12, 2020 | Understand your role in the movement to dismantle racism in the wellness and healthcare industry and design your own action plan. Review the history of racism, evaluate intersections of racism in the LGBTQ+ communities and study evidence-based frameworks and approaches to address racism at the individual and systemic level.

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Firstly, it was a professionally excellent teaching & learning experience with a reflective group. What I was also blown away by was the generosity of spirit & knowledge that UC brought to her teaching. I was moved & profoundly grateful to learn from her about the history of & current status of systemic & institutionalized racism in the US. And also to cast my thoughts wider to revisit the impact of colonialism around the world. The decades of consequences, injustice & inequity.

Emma Stokes, PhD

President, World Physiotherapy, Head of Department of Physiotherapy & Rehabilitation Science, Qatar University

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Dr. UC offers virtual education, counseling and coaching sessions which are available to individuals, couples and groups. Schedule a session with Dr. UC! Topics and services include but are not limited to: sexuality counseling and coaching, anti-racism training, curriculum planning and development for clinical, management, and administrative staff in diversity and inclusion, sex, sexuality, sexual health, intersectionality and more.

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“I cannot begin to say enough good about the things I see in UC. I’m so happy that this empowered and empowering woman somehow came into my feed, and then into my life after I reached out to inquire about working together. I immediately felt comfortable with her. She is a complete professional who knows her subject matter and a cool, down to earth person all at once–I feel like I am learning from an incredible teacher and speaking to an old friend. UC has good vibes and good advice, completely intuiting somehow exactly what I NEED in each of our discussions-at this time in my life. In the little time she has known me, she seems to have such an understanding of me and my situation/needs/wants and wisely words it in a way that I will understand. UC has given me great homework and ideas that I can incorporate into my life after our sessions. I’m so happy that I am finally able to see logic in the part that I play within my sexual relationship with my partner, so that I am better able to play with him!”

Sexuality Counseling

“Dr. Ossai is awesome! She is thorough, kind, professional, and communicative. She also has such an energetic and positive vibe that I thoroughly appreciate. Dr. Ossai addresses my issues with careful consideration and is fantastic at dispelling the mysteries of sexual health. She also holds you accountable for homework without scolding. I leave each session feeling empowered to continue the work. I’ve experienced significant improvement psychologically and physically and gained sexual confidence I didn’t know was possible since beginning counseling services. I cannot recommend UC at You See Logic highly enough.”

Cis-female in her 30’s

Bourbon Talez

I love Bourbon. I also am a fan of keeping it real when it comes to all things related to “sexytimes”. Bourbon Talez is the product of my love of sexual empowerment and intelligence.

This is your opportunity to ask me questions regarding ANYTHING related to sexytimes (Don’t trip. This is confidential), and I will give you my input or advice while sipping on my bourbon bev.

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“I watched my wife give birth 7 months ago and it was a bit traumatic to watch. She has healed up fine and initiates sex… but I’m the one holding back. Any advice?!”

“I’m 29-year-old cisgender female and I’ve been with my partner for a year now. Recently, I’ve been DRYING UP the middle of penetrative sex! Ugh! I’m super into it and aroused and I have healthy communication with my partner…. what gives?!”

“The guy I’m dating cums REALLY quickly. Like, really quickly. It’s starting to become a “thing”. I don’t want to shame him or make him feel insecure… so how do I approach this gently?”

“I’m a 28-year-old female and vagina owner and I have pain with orgasms. I still can experience pleasure, but the pain is pretty intense (and not in a good way). Any advice?”

“I’m a 40-year-old year old woman and vagina owner and I’ve had 3 kids within 4 years and my youngest is 3 years old. My husband works full-time and a half and I stay at home and love it. However I cannot feel penetrative intercourse with my partner. Like, at all. Why is this happening and what toys do you recommend?”

“How long is sex supposed to last and how can I last longer?”

“I’m a vagina owner with lifelong pelvic pain. I’m currently in PT, but having trouble bridging the gap into having pain-free penetrative intercourse. Any advice on how I can navigate this process better?”

How do I approach this 7-month friends-with-benefits situation?

“How do I get past lesbian bed death with my wife?!😳 We have all the intimacy levels…except sex. help!”

“I’m a 28-year-old man and I’m dating a new guy who had a spinal cord injury and uses a wheelchair to get around. I’m ready to take the next step with sex, but I don’t know how to bring the subject up. I have questions, but I don’t want to insult him or put all the burden on educating me on him. Any advice?”

“I’ve been dating this guy who won’t perform oral sex on me. 🙄🤨 When is it too soon or too late to bring up this issue (I kinda like the guy)?

“I had a very difficult vaginal delivery that involved tearing and resulted in a difficult postpartum recovery. My partner is ready for penetration sex and I’m a bit freaked out. I want my sex life back, but I don’t know how to start.”

“My boyfriend wants me to perform anal play on him and I’ve never really thought about it, this I’m not super comfortable. I told him ‘no’ for now, and he ended up calling me “uptight”. How do I figure out if it’s something I want to do? And how do I let him down if I decide it’s not for me… without sounding ‘rigid’”.

“I have always had a hypersensitive clitoris and I’ve never enjoyed clitoral play because it’s too uncomfortable and distracts me from enjoying sex. I’m with a new partner and I really want to experience clitoral pleasure….Any tips?”

“I’m a 38-year-old woman and I’ve been married to my wife for 7 years. I’m scheduled to have a hysterectomy in 3.5 months and I’m freaked out on what it will do to my sex life! we already have been struggling with sexual issues over the past 1.5 years. Any advice on how to prevent more issues after surgery?”

“I’m a 29-year-old man and I recently gave my partner respectful and kind feedback about his oral sex skills. Unfortunately, I was met with negativity and it became a while thing. How do we move past it?”

“I’m a 34-year-old vagina owner and I’m recently single. I’m getting back into the dating pool and wanted to know your thoughts on having sex on the first date.”

“My long-term partner and I used to have hot, spontaneous sex. But after 2 kiddos and 2 big jobs… that spontaneity and excitement is gone. How do I get that spontaneity back?”

“What do I do if I can have an orgasm solo, but not with my partner? HELP!”

“My partner is a bit on the conservative side and newer to sex, how do I introduce my sexual fantasies to them without scaring them off?”

“I recently found out my partner consumes way more porn than I thought. I don’t have a problem with him watching porn, but….when is porn use problematic?”

“I’m a 30-year-old man with premature ejaculation. I’m talking maybe 30 to 40 secs. I recently learned that the pelvic floor can assist with this problem. How can I start?”

“I’m a 25-year-old non-binary person and I avoid and pick fights with my partner to avoid sex. My partner thinks it has to do with my sexual shame; and with further thought, I agree with them. How do I address sexual shame?”

“I’m a 31-year-old Black woman with sexual dysfunction and I’m worried that I’ve internalized the Black female archetype of “superwoman” and it’s impacted my sex life. What do I do?”

“I’m a 42-year-old woman and I’ve never really enjoyed sex. I have a great partner who loves it, and I feel bad because I don’t. You always say to chase my pleasure… but it hasn’t helped. Any advice on how to get pleasure when I never experienced it to begin with?”

“What do I do if I’m worried that my birth control has negatively impacted my libido and orgasm?”

“I’m a 28 year old black person and I have a complicated medical history. Given the past few weeks, my trust in the medical establishment has gotten even lower and I simply am not sure how to navigate my healthcare moving forward. Any advice?”

“I’m a 35 year-old black woman and I work in a corporate all-white environment with a lot of Amy Coopers who literally and figuratively cry “wolf” during interactions with me and I hold my tongue a lot so every few months I might get upset but then I look “crazy” like I’m an angry Black person.. and I’m really not. I know my job and I want to grow in this company but I am not sure how to negotiate this Amy Cooper situation. Any advice?”

“I’ve gained a few pounds during the Rona quarantine and its made me feel less sexy… any advice on how I can address this?”

“My wife and I had a ‘sexless’ marriage for years because of her pelvic pain; however, her pain is now no longer an issue, but now I’m struggling with erection issues. Help!”

“How do I get my partner to be more adventurous in the bedroom? “

“My girlfriend and I rarely have simultaneous orgasms, and the one time we did… she seemed to have the best orgasm. Are we supposed to orgasm at the same time? Is that better?”

“I always had a low libido. How do I improve my libido for the long-haul?”

“Since the coronavirus hit, we’ve been working non-stop on top of each other. I’ve really afraid that this all this closeness will disrupt our sexy swag. Any advice?”

“My lady NEVER initiates sex and it’s really getting to me because it makes me feel like she’s not into me. How do I approach her with this with it being “a thing”?”

“My partner wants a threesome and I don’t feel comfortable with it. What do I do?”

“I’m a 27-year-old bro dude and my lady told me that she hasn’t been enjoying sex the entire time we have been together. Now, I’m having trouble performing. What gives?”

“I am a 30 yo woman, been with my partner for 4 months. Libido is very low, never had a high libido. Should I get on hormones? What do you suggest?”

“What do I do when my partner is bad in bed?”

How do I kindly give my partner cues on what I like and don’t like during oral sex?

“I am a 24 year old person, I’ve been with my partner for 6 years now. I am getting bored with sex now, what do I do?”

Sex and Boredom

“I’m a 19-year-old guy and my girlfriend makes out with other people when we go out. It bothers me more when she makes out with guys, though. I’m not so comfortable with this thought process. Am I confronting to the patriarchy by thinking and believing this way?”

“I used to have urinary incontinence, but it was fixed with PT. However, I have a persistent fear that I’m going to pee all over my partner during sex, so I avoid sex all together. Any sex tips to improve my libido?”

“How can I use my pelvic floor to last longer in bed?”

“Lately there has been a not-so-pleasant smell from my partner’s vagina. I know that vaginas don’t smell like roses 24/7, but it’s a bit challenging to engage in oral sex. I really don’t want to shame her, especially since she’s sensitive about that area smelling. Any advice on how to tell her?”

“Everytime I have sex, I get excessive lubrication. It’s so, so embarrassing during partnered sex. Any advice on how I can get over this?”

“How do I get my sexy serve back?”

“I moved in with my partner 2 months ago and we are not having nearly as much sex as we used to. What gives?”

“80% of women who have chronic pelvic pain are still having penetrative sex despite reporting moderate to severe pain.”

“My partner told me that my financial success makes them feel insecure. What do I do?”

“My ex told me that they always faked orgasms while we are together. That really threw me off my game and I’m nervous to initiate sex with my current partner, any advice?”

“What makes a great lover?”

“I’m 20 weeks postpartum and I have ZERO interest in sex. My partner really wants it, but every time I think of sex, I get a flashback to my traumatic birth. Plus, I’m severely sleep deprived. Any advice to get my mojo going?”

“I was recently propositioned to have a friends with benefits situation, what do I do?”

Part 2 of 2: “I have Painful Bladder Syndrome / Interstitial cystitis and all types of sex is painful… any advice?”

Part 1 of 2: “I have Painful Bladder Syndrome/Interstitial cystitis and all types of sex is painful… any advice?”

“My partner has a smaller package and refuses to use a toy to enhance the bedroom experience. Any advice?”

“My new partner recently told me they are into ‘rough sex’. I’m intrigued but still uncertain… any advice? “

“My partner does not like when I bring sex toys in the bedroom….ugh…advice?”

Interviewed by

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Sex Ed for Grown Folk

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Bourbon Talez

“I watched my wife give birth 7 months ago and it was a bit traumatic to watch. She has healed up fine and initiates sex… but I’m the one holding back. Any advice?!”

“I’m 29-year-old cisgender female and I’ve been with my partner for a year now. Recently, I’ve been DRYING UP the middle of penetrative sex! Ugh! I’m super into it and aroused and I have healthy communication with my partner…. what gives?!”

“The guy I’m dating cums REALLY quickly. Like, really quickly. It’s starting to become a “thing”. I don’t want to shame him or make him feel insecure… so how do I approach this gently?”

“I’m a 28-year-old female and vagina owner and I have pain with orgasms. I still can experience pleasure, but the pain is pretty intense (and not in a good way). Any advice?”

“How long is sex supposed to last and how can I last longer?”

“I’m a vagina owner with lifelong pelvic pain. I’m currently in PT, but having trouble bridging the gap into having pain-free penetrative intercourse. Any advice on how I can navigate this process better?”

How do I approach this 7-month friends-with-benefits situation?

“How do I get past lesbian bed death with my wife?!😳 We have all the intimacy levels…except sex. help!”

“I’ve been dating this guy who won’t perform oral sex on me. 🙄🤨 When is it too soon or too late to bring up this issue (I kinda like the guy)?

“I had a very difficult vaginal delivery that involved tearing and resulted in a difficult postpartum recovery. My partner is ready for penetration sex and I’m a bit freaked out. I want my sex life back, but I don’t know how to start.”

“I have always had a hypersensitive clitoris and I’ve never enjoyed clitoral play because it’s too uncomfortable and distracts me from enjoying sex. I’m with a new partner and I really want to experience clitoral pleasure….Any tips?”

“I’m a 29-year-old man and I recently gave my partner respectful and kind feedback about his oral sex skills. Unfortunately, I was met with negativity and it became a while thing. How do we move past it?”

“I’m a 34-year-old vagina owner and I’m recently single. I’m getting back into the dating pool and wanted to know your thoughts on having sex on the first date.”

“My long-term partner and I used to have hot, spontaneous sex. But after 2 kiddos and 2 big jobs… that spontaneity and excitement is gone. How do I get that spontaneity back?”

“What do I do if I can have an orgasm solo, but not with my partner? HELP!”

“My partner is a bit on the conservative side and newer to sex, how do I introduce my sexual fantasies to them without scaring them off?”

“I recently found out my partner consumes way more porn than I thought. I don’t have a problem with him watching porn, but….when is porn use problematic?”

“I’m a 30-year-old man with premature ejaculation. I’m talking maybe 30 to 40 secs. I recently learned that the pelvic floor can assist with this problem. How can I start?”

“I’m a 25-year-old non-binary person and I avoid and pick fights with my partner to avoid sex. My partner thinks it has to do with my sexual shame; and with further thought, I agree with them. How do I address sexual shame?”

“I’m a 31-year-old Black woman with sexual dysfunction and I’m worried that I’ve internalized the Black female archetype of “superwoman” and it’s impacted my sex life. What do I do?”

“I’m a 42-year-old woman and I’ve never really enjoyed sex. I have a great partner who loves it, and I feel bad because I don’t. You always say to chase my pleasure… but it hasn’t helped. Any advice on how to get pleasure when I never experienced it to begin with?”

“What do I do if I’m worried that my birth control has negatively impacted my libido and orgasm?”

“I’m a 28 year old black person and I have a complicated medical history. Given the past few weeks, my trust in the medical establishment has gotten even lower and I simply am not sure how to navigate my healthcare moving forward. Any advice?”

“I’ve gained a few pounds during the Rona quarantine and its made me feel less sexy… any advice on how I can address this?”

“My wife and I had a ‘sexless’ marriage for years because of her pelvic pain; however, her pain is now no longer an issue, but now I’m struggling with erection issues. Help!”

“How do I get my partner to be more adventurous in the bedroom? “

“My girlfriend and I rarely have simultaneous orgasms, and the one time we did… she seemed to have the best orgasm. Are we supposed to orgasm at the same time? Is that better?”

“I always had a low libido. How do I improve my libido for the long-haul?”

“Since the coronavirus hit, we’ve been working non-stop on top of each other. I’ve really afraid that this all this closeness will disrupt our sexy swag. Any advice?”

“My lady NEVER initiates sex and it’s really getting to me because it makes me feel like she’s not into me. How do I approach her with this with it being “a thing”?”

“My partner wants a threesome and I don’t feel comfortable with it. What do I do?”

“I’m a 27-year-old bro dude and my lady told me that she hasn’t been enjoying sex the entire time we have been together. Now, I’m having trouble performing. What gives?”

“I am a 30 yo woman, been with my partner for 4 months. Libido is very low, never had a high libido. Should I get on hormones? What do you suggest?”

“What do I do when my partner is bad in bed?”

How do I kindly give my partner cues on what I like and don’t like during oral sex?

“I am a 24 year old person, I’ve been with my partner for 6 years now. I am getting bored with sex now, what do I do?”

Sex and Boredom

“I’m a 19-year-old guy and my girlfriend makes out with other people when we go out. It bothers me more when she makes out with guys, though. I’m not so comfortable with this thought process. Am I confronting to the patriarchy by thinking and believing this way?”

“I used to have urinary incontinence, but it was fixed with PT. However, I have a persistent fear that I’m going to pee all over my partner during sex, so I avoid sex all together. Any sex tips to improve my libido?”

“How can I use my pelvic floor to last longer in bed?”

“Everytime I have sex, I get excessive lubrication. It’s so, so embarrassing during partnered sex. Any advice on how I can get over this?”

“How do I get my sexy serve back?”

“I moved in with my partner 2 months ago and we are not having nearly as much sex as we used to. What gives?”

“80% of women who have chronic pelvic pain are still having penetrative sex despite reporting moderate to severe pain.”

“My partner told me that my financial success makes them feel insecure. What do I do?”

“My ex told me that they always faked orgasms while we are together. That really threw me off my game and I’m nervous to initiate sex with my current partner, any advice?”

“What makes a great lover?”

“I’m 20 weeks postpartum and I have ZERO interest in sex. My partner really wants it, but every time I think of sex, I get a flashback to my traumatic birth. Plus, I’m severely sleep deprived. Any advice to get my mojo going?”

“I was recently propositioned to have a friends with benefits situation, what do I do?”

Part 2 of 2: “I have Painful Bladder Syndrome / Interstitial cystitis and all types of sex is painful… any advice?”

Part 1 of 2: “I have Painful Bladder Syndrome/Interstitial cystitis and all types of sex is painful… any advice?”

“My partner has a smaller package and refuses to use a toy to enhance the bedroom experience. Any advice?”

“My new partner recently told me they are into ‘rough sex’. I’m intrigued but still uncertain… any advice? “

“My partner does not like when I bring sex toys in the bedroom….ugh…advice?”

Interviewed by

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